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‘THE wholesale halloween costumes APPRENTICE’ LOSERS FIRED UP ABOUTUNDERWEAR
WHAT can you say about the swimwear manufacturer China loopy losers from The Apprentice who appeared in their underwear in FHM magazine?
If you were The Donald, wholesale swimwear youd say, No wonder there are no women left on The Apprentice. At least thats what he said to me on Friday.
No – the man who owns Miss Universe (and a good part of the rest of the universe, as well) wasnt being sexist. Well, OK, he was being sexist, but that doesnt mean he was wrong. This time.
Donald Youre Fired Trump was talking about the decision of the four Apprentice outcasts – Kristi, Katrina, Amy and Ereka to pose for free in FHM, after turning down a million big ones to take a bit more of it off for Playboy.
Why turn down the money from Playboy, he boomed, when what they did for FHM was so close – and they did it for nothing!? I dont get it. These are not only very beautiful women, but very brilliant, as well.
Hmmm, maybe not.
If youre gonna live out that nightmare where you go to work in your underwear, why not at least get more out of it than waking up in a big sweat? Money talks – no wonder these babes walked.
Even Trump said, We were sort of encouraging them to kind of take the money from Playboy.
Meantime, missing from the cheesy cheesecake layout was the hated Omarosa, the contestant who cried racism when she was canned and is now writing a tell-all.
The women [in the layout] were the ones the editors liked early on, said Cathy OBrien of FHM about the obvious Omarosa omission. They were the ones they knew the readers would like, too.
Meantime, this could trigger the first lawsuit in history in which a woman sues for not being asked to take off her clothes.
Missing, too, from the in-your-face/in-their-drawers spread is Apprentice loser Tammy Lee, who got the boot faster than Carrie Bradshaw at a Manolo Blahnik sale. But considering the skimpy outfits Lee wore, she may have felt overdressed posing in her underwear.
VERY COOL RICE IN THE HOT SEAT
THEY tried to make fried Rice outta Condoleezza on Thursday, but ended up with refried beans instead. Yes, the grilling of Rice turned into just a waste of time and money.
The Dems on the panel got to speechify and say how terrible everything is, the Republicans got to speechify and say how great everything is, and Condoleezza got to use more words while giving up nothing than was previously thought humanly possible.
Testimony highlights included Rice calling Richard Clarke Dick and Dick Clarke, which made him sound alternately like the man who invented New Years Rockin Eve and/or angry, male genitalia. The Dems in turn referred to him as Richard Clarke in voices so reverential they should be saved for Mother Teresa. Fun, sure. Worth it? Hardly.
Does anyone in government really believe that if the Bush administration knew about the 9/11 attacks, that they wouldnt have tried to stop it?
Blame should be planted squarely on the sloping shoulders of U.S. intelligence. (Talk about an oxymoron!) No wonder its called counter-intelligence – the info theyve come up with isnt close to intelligent.
SUREFIRE CURE FOR CANCER
FORGET radiation, chemo and quacks. Sex, it turns out, is the cure for cancer. Or at least the preventative.
Last week, a highly scientific study proved – proved! – that the more a man ejaculates, the less chance he has of getting prostate cancer.
In other words, theres a good chance that Tommy Lee will live to be about 130, and Bill Clinton probably wont checkout until hes closer to about 300 – and theyll go out with 20/20 vision to boot.
Can you hear the philandering hubbies now? I wasnt cheating! I was trying to save my life!